why is it so hard to find a husband these days?

Certain things should be straight forward and come naturally. Like the way it was with my parents and their parents. You reach a certain age, a certain special somebody comes along and you get married and may or may not live happily ever after. But you do get married.

Certain decisons should also be that easy. It should be as easy as choosing between heaven and hell, good and bad, pain or joy, bitter or sweet. but heck no, not for me anyway. It seems I have what other people struggle to get and what they take for granted is what i have to struggle for.

My life should be turned into a soap opera, for real. I have had sadness, drama, scandal and all that but overall, I like to think that I am a well rounded individual. I am the kind of person who puts up a smile even when my heart is breaking inside me. The kind of person who people will look at and wish that they had my life. I am Carrie from sex and the city but I believe I have a more level head on my shoulders. People ask me why I am not married. Well I would like to know that too! They look at me and think there must be something wrong with me for me to be still single. Honestly, I wish they would just mind their own business.

Sometimes i do wonder if i dont have a problem. Everyone around me is getting married. By the time mum was my age, she was divorced and had two kids. Yet here i am, 28years old, good job but no family or husband. All i have is a broken engangement and a series of broken hearts after that. Last time I wrote about how i couldnt understand why my boyfriend was acting the way he was. Well, after promising me heaven and earth, it turned out that he was promising the same thing to at least six other girls. He simply disappeared just before i found out. Probably knowing that i was about to find out. After two years together, the man did not even have the decency to break up with me, he simply slinkered away like the coward that he was. I would like to say that he will get what is coming to him but i have since realised that we are in a world where there is no such thing as justice. Bad guys win most of the time and bad things happen to good people, a lot. Its just the way life is and i have come to accept that.

A couple of months have passed and though my ego was bruised a little, i am over him and ready to move on. but, i dont want just any other relationship. I want someone who is in the same place that i am. Someone who wants to settle down and start a family. I am done with dating boys, i want a man, a serious man. And there happens to be four men vying for my attention right now.

Guy number one.
Good on paper. Very good on paper. He worships the very ground that i walk on. He has a good job, nice car, big house and he is looking for a wife. Says the only thing that is missing from his life is a wife. I should be happy seeing that i want a husband. And so what if i didnt fall in love with him the moment that i saw him? He is a good guy and sometimes thats all a woman needs, a good man who loves you and provides for you. But the guy is awfully short. He is probably five feet tall while i am 5ft6" with a penchant for high heels. I know it shouldnt matter but it matters a lot to me!

Guy number two.
Mercifully not short. He is friend i have had for three or four years now. When we met i was engaged and he was living with his girlfriend but the girl left him after five years and a child together and he still wouldnt commit. He was there for me when my engangement didnt work out. But here is the catch, apart from the aversion to marriage that the guy clearly has, he does not have a steady job. He is now even saying he wants to be an intern with a company where he feels his skills will be 'better appreciated.' Now, i am not one of those women who wants money from men but a man has got to have a job!

Guy number three.
Not short and has a job. Not as good a job as guy number one but a job none the less. Problem is that the way he looks is a complete turn off to me. Looks like a drunkard and he says he enjoys his beer. Really am not in the least bit attracted to the guy. And looks shouldnt matter right? Really its not that i want only a handsome man (though i wouldnt mind one if he came along) but surely a man should be able to look after themselves, a fat stomach and sweaty armpits are just a turn off to any woman period.

Guy number four.
Perfection. Tall, accomplished and hot! We met a year ago and hit it off immediately. I was crazy about him until i met his wife! Turns out the man was merely separated from his wife and not divorced as he had told me. After telling him to go and put it where the light does not shine, he is now back. Says he is indeed getting a divorce this time around and he really wants to be with me. Really? Not until the ink is on the paper buddy. I wont make that mistake again.

All i want is a man who loves me and ready to settle down like guy number 1, who has a job like guys number 1, 3 and 4, someone i am attracted to and get along with like guy number 4 and who is not married. Is that too much to ask for! Whats a girl to do to get married these days? Could our problem also be that we have too many options?